Marriages
So, you want to get married in the Church of England? Congratulations to you. We wish you well as you plan for your married life. Here's a simple guide to help you through some of the practicalities...
This section was written by the Revd Giles Legood, co-author of 'The Church Wedding Handbook' (SPCK, 2000). To buy a copy, go to the Church of England Bookshop.
Christianity and Marriage
A wedding ceremony marks the start of a marriage. All weddings, wherever they take place, are significant. They all mark a public witness to the love that two people have for each other. However, a Church wedding makes certain themes clearer:
- The fact that the promises are made within a supportive community provides
a setting in which the marriage can be supported and sustained.
- The Church building witnesses to the significance of love as the
very reason for existence. The concept of covenant between the couple reflects
the relationship between God and the world.
- The idea of the ‘sacrament of marriage’ reflects the miracle of what God is doing in human lives as you both make the promises together in the Church.
Practicalities and the Law
In these pages we unravel all the apparent complexities of the legal requirements of marriage. We will also give some practical advice on who you may need to contact for help in other matters (photographers, florists etc.) and offer a checklist which will be of help to you in planning all the elements of your big day in plenty of time.
If you are unsure of these or any aspect of the arrangements (legal, religious or otherwise), please ask the priest who will be officiating at your wedding. S/he will have expert knowledge and years of experience of countless weddings: what you might think of as a problem can probably be ironed-out very simply.
Legal requirements and restrictions
The laws of the Church of England generally reflects the laws of the land. This is because a wedding service is a legal ceremony and there are therefore certain requirements that must be met.
The law of England provides that every person (regardless of nationality) resident in a parish has a right to be married by banns in the parish church according to the rites and ceremonies of the Church of England. This is the case regardless of whether either or both of the couple are baptised but it is dependent on there being no legal impediment (see the section Who may marry below). Indeed because the Church of England is the Established church of the land, any couple, one of whom is resident in the parish, may marry in the parish church, even if one or both of them are members of another religion.
It is worth noting that the Vicar, Rector or Priest-in-charge of a parish church is not obliged to conduct a marriage herself, provided that she arranges for another Anglican clergyperson to take the service, but she must allow the parish church to be used.
Who may conduct a wedding ceremony
A legal marriage in England must be solemnised by an authorised person. This means a registrar of any register office, an ordained minister of the Church of England or a minister of other religious denominations who have been legally authorised to register marriages.
Who may marry
In the UK weddings may only take place between a couple where one partner was born male and one partner was born female. Both partners must be over the age of 16. In England or Wales, if either is under 18 a parent or legal guardian must give written permission for the marriage to go ahead.
If however, someone under 18 has been married and is now divorced or widowed, this consent is not needed. Certain members of families may not marry. These couplings are set-out in the Marriage Act of 1986. Many of these prohibited relationships will be obvious (you may not marry one of your siblings for example) and others are rare, but similarly obvious (you may not marry, for example, a former wife or husband’s parent).
Marriages between first cousins were previously prohibited, but they may now marry each other. Should you be in any doubt, clergy can provide you with a complete table of marriages that are prohibited by law.
When and where ceremonies may take place
Weddings may take place only between the hours of 8am and 6pm. Many years ago clandestine marriages used to take place under the cover of darkness. These timing restrictions were introduced to eradicate such unions.
Marriages where one or both of the couple are house-bound or where one or both of the couple is detained as a prisoner or under the Mental Health Act for at least three months, may be solemnised by a Superintendent Registrar’s Certificate at the residence of the person who is house-bound or detained.
Such weddings are less rare and may also take place outside the hours of 8am – 6pm. All marriages must be witnessed by two people over the age of 18, both of whom must then sign the marriage register.
Second marriages
No one who is already married to a living spouse may marry someone else. If a person does go through a second marriage ceremony in such circumstances, the second marriage is invalid and the person is committing the crime of bigamy. Widows or widowers may, of course, re-marry, either in a civil or in a religious ceremony.
There is no limit on the number of time a person may marry, but they must be legal free to do so, i.e. their previous marriage must have been dissolved and a decree absolute granted. However, although the law of the land allows divorcees to re-marry, many clergy feel unable to perform a second wedding. The Church of England is moving to a position where, subject to a careful analysis of the reasons for the breakdown for the first marriage, divorcees may be permitted to get remarried in Church.
Increasingly a number of clergy are happy to conduct wedding ceremonies for those who have been divorced. Even those who are not willing to conduct such weddings may well be willing to offer a service of blessing or dedication in church for a couple once a civil ceremony has taken place. More will be said about this service and how (in small ways) it differs from a wedding service in chapter seven.
Marriage of foreign nationals
Although, as stated above, every person in England has the legal right to be married by banns in the local parish church, marriage by banns of foreigners is not always regarded as valid in some countries. In such case marriage in the parish church can still take place but using a licence.
Marriage in The Church of England
Marriage in the Church of England can be authorised in one of four ways:
i) Publication of banns
ii) Common licence
iii) Special licence
iv) Superintendent Registrar’s certificate
i) Banns are the easiest and most commonly used method. They involve notice of your forthcoming wedding being read out in both the bride and the groom’s parish churches on three consecutive Sundays in the period three months before the wedding. When you visit the priest of the parish in which you live she will arrange for the banns to be “called” (to use its technical term). If you both live in the same parish that is all that you need to do but if one of you lives in another parish banns will have to be called there too. Visit the priest here also to arrange for this to be done. When this has been completed she will give you a piece of paper, called a banns certificate, to give the priest who will be marrying you.
When you make arrangements for the banns to be called in both the bride and the groom’s parishes you will need the same information. This is your full names, dates of birth, addresses from which you will be getting married, your occupations and your fathers’ names.
If you hope to get married in a church with a special attachment to you or your family (for instance, where you grew-up or where your parents now live), you will need to use an address within that parish from which to get married. As well as this residential way of the banns being called, you may also have you banns called in a parish church where you regularly worship, but in whose parish you do not live.
Either way it is customary for couples to attend the calling of their banns. These will take place during the main act of worship on Sundays. Attendance will help you feel more comfortable with the church surroundings and this will have obvious benefits in terms of your nervousness on the big day.
ii) Common licences are a quicker method than banns but more expensive. Only one full day’s notice needs to be given before the licence is issued. Like with banns there is a residential requirement but a common licence is a good safety net if there has been a slip-up with calling the banns. Your priest will be able to advise you on how to obtain one of these licences.
iii) Special licences are only issued in exceptional circumstances or in emergencies and are costly to obtain. They are issued by the Faculty Office of the Archbishop of Canterbury and allow a marriage according to the ceremony of the Church of England to take place at any time or place. In practice this usually means making it possible for a wedding to take place in a church which is not registered for marriages. Such places include college or university chapels.
iv) Marriages by Superintendent Registrar’s Certificate are also very rare. Residential requirements must be met and application must be made at least 21 days before the wedding. Such certificates allow couples to be married in a Church of England without the resident priest’s permission and for the ceremony to be conducted by someone who is not an ordained member of the Church of England (for instance a friend who is a minister of another church or is a minister overseas).
Wedding planner checklist
Organising a wedding can be a fraught and stressful business. Alternatively, it can be an enjoyable and confident time. In order that the latter is the case for you, here is a countdown checklist of what needs to be done in the months before your wedding. It may not cover every eventuality but it certainly covers most that needs to be planned.
12-6 months
- Announce your forthcoming marriage to family and friends (you may also
like to announce this in the newspapers).
- Select an engagement ring (if the future bride desires one).
- Write letters of thanks to family members or friends who give engagement
presents.
- Decide on the venue, day and time for the wedding. Remember that churches
often have more than one wedding on some days and it might not be possible
to have the day and time you desire. Visit the priest and ask if it would
be possible to have a certain day and time, rather than making immovable
demands.
- Arrange to meet with both sets of parents to decide who will be financially
responsible for which parts of the wedding budget. To help you to do this,
get some estimates of costs for the church, flowers, cars, clothes hire,
reception etc.
- Decide whom you want as best man, bridesmaids and ushers. Ask them if they
are will to perform these tasks. You may like to ask others to take part
in the service by leading the prayers or doing a reading. Decide too what
all these people will wear on the wedding day.
- Decide the number of guests to be invite to the wedding (remember that
it is often sensible to consult your parents in this).
- Book a venue for the reception and decide what sort of catering you would
like (buffet, sit-down meal etc).
- Start to make a wedding present list.
- Book holiday time at work for your honeymoon.
Six months
- Book the cars which will be used to transport the bride and bridesmaids
to the church and the couple from the church.
- Book any music that will be played at the reception (band, disco etc).
- Book a photographer and a video firm if desired.
- Book an hotel for the wedding night.
- Buy or make arrangements to have made or hire dresses for the bride and bridesmaids.
Four months
- Visit the priest at the church where you will be getting married to arrange
when the banns will be called. Discuss with her the music and order of service
as well as the day and time for the wedding rehearsal. Discuss also whether
you want bells, a choir or flowers at the church. If applicable, visit too
the priest of the other parish to arrange for the banns to be called there
too.
- Visit the florist and discuss colours and types of flowers. This may include
flowers for bride and bridesmaids, buttonholes for groom, best man, ushers
and guests, as well as flowers for the church and reception.
- Send out wedding invitations, together with a finalised wedding list.
Three months
- Take out travel insurance for the honeymoon and consider general insurance
for the wedding (reception disasters etc.). Ensure that you both have passports
that will be valid at the time of the honeymoon. Remember that airline tickets
must be booked in the names that will be on your passports when you leave
to go on honeymoon.
- Decide if you want service papers printed for the church. If so, order
these, but remember to ask the priest to look at a copy before printing,
to minimise any mistakes.
- Arrange to hire suits for the grooms, best man, ushers and the fathers
of the bride and groom.
- Shop for going-away outfits for bride and groom.
- Start to make a wedding cake or order it.
One month
- Buy wedding rings.
- Check arrangements with florists and car hire firm. Check too the catering
arrangements at the reception and advise on final number of guests.
- Meet the photographer and discuss with her/him the types of photos to be
taken.
- Visit the doctor and arrange any injections that may be necessary for foreign
travel.
- Obtain any foreign currency needed for the honeymoon.
- Buy any new clothes that will be needed for the honeymoon.
- Buy presents to give on the wedding day to best man, bridesmaids, ushers
and any others taking part in the service. You may also like to give flowers
to the mothers of the bride and groom at the reception – order these.
- Book hair appointments for bride and groom for a day shortly before the
wedding (or even the day itself).
One week
- Ensure that you have adequate amounts of cash to pay people who may need payment at the wedding (if requested, this might include fees for the priest, as well as payment for cars, florist or photographers).
